team win not
Cunning, Baffling, Powerful
[2005 Champs]
6 0
Mississippi Shakedown 5 (+1) 1
St. Sebastian’s Home for the Eldery & Convalescent 4 2 (-1)
Curse of the Zomboree 2 4
UntouchiballicA 2 4
Urban Plantain Workers Party 2 4
Stilettos 0 6
(Parens. indicate Wildcard status)
team win not
Holy Rollers
[2007 Champs]
6 0
Team U.G.G.H. 4 (+1) 2
Scurvy Dogs 5 1 (-1)
Ze French Revenge 2 4
Providence Burnsiders 2 4
BSRmadillos 1 5
Bat Seals 1 5
(Parens. indicate Wildcard status)
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That’s It. Done. Final. Over.

The Prized Cups

I’ll save the commentary for later. For now, I’d just like to report on the day’s events straight.

In what can ony be described as an event that will be constantly questioned by PKL-peeps for years to come, our 2 final teams in the Freedum Division, after a tied 5-5 game after six innings of intense play decided to combine forces, share the Division Championship title, and become the Uggly Rollers to take on the winner of the Liberty Division. Has this ever happened before? That good-will between two top-ranked teams should be strong enough between them that they decide to throw differences aside and truly join forces in the name of fun, in the name of kickball? No, never. And that’s why we allowed it to happen. Because it’s kickball, because they were having so much fun out there, and because it was a spectacle to behold.

After a solid win by CBP over Mississippi Shakedown during a tense game – and admittedly, after some bad blood boiled to the surface, which we sincerely regret, and which we hope all parties involved can get some perspective on and put behind them – CBP took the title for Liberty Division Champ. It was already a long day of kickball, and we were only two games in.

The All Star game commenced, and the officials took a bit of a break. Standing out in the hot sun, trying to make the right call, being under that sort of pressure... I understand now why no one wants that job. It can get heated out there, and sometimes rightfully so. There were some good calls, some not so great calls, but in the end, they were calls, and the game must go on. If anyone thinks they have better eyes, and better grasp on these loose “rules”, then please, join up next year to be an ump. We need more people to depend on to be there every week and make the calls.

It was finally time for the Loser’s Cup. Dominatrix gear showed up on the field. We had pasties, we had fishnets, we had whips and pools and girls tied up in pools and hot pants galore. I wish I could say that Sean Larkin was in fishnets, but alas, our dreams of havng the two teams swap outfits were dashed. Anyway, it was a fun game, and for a little while there, it looked like the Bat Seals might possibly lose. The Stilettos had some great catches... fingertip catches. I think people had fun on the field... as far as refereeing goes, it was almost pointless. We were just trying to keep the game moving. Still, after a hour, we were only in the third inning, and the day was already a hour off schedule, so the game was stopped. Bat Seals won it, and get on the cup.

Now, there seems to be some confusion about one thing... how the Loser’s Cup is played and scored. The point of the Cup has always been that you need to win the game in order to get on the cup. The two losing-est teams play to vie for who gets on the cup. It gives one team a chance for glory. But you still have to win, you don’t lose to win. The Cup game has never in my five years been played that way. I’m not sure where anyone got the idea that you have to lose the Loser’s Cup game to get on the cup. In the past, the game is supposed to be scored backwards – starting at 32 points per team – so that runs are subtracted from the total, in effect, then, the team that scores the most points looks like they lost... But in reality, they still would have scored the most runs. So that’s how it should have been done, but either way, the Cup still goes to the Winner.

Finally, at five, the Hyerbowl commenced – a tense game already mired in auspicious circumstances. Still, we were determined to have fun, and hoped that the over-the-top-ness of the whole thing would make people relax and treat it like just a fun game. I think for the most part people did. The Uggly Rollers played one whole team in the field, switching off every inning, and made one conglomerate line-up to kick. For the seventh inning they mixed the teams in the field. Again, there were some hard-to-make calls for people who are not referres in real life. I myself am too conciliatory and willing to see both sides, so it is hard for me to drop the hammer and just make a decision, but I tried. Between all three teams, there were some amazing kickballers on that field. Years and years of experience and countless Hall-of-Famers. It was a tight game, and after seven long innings, the Ugglies kept their lead and were crowned PKL Champs.

And then the party. As if the day were not already long enough, we took on the party head-on and did the best we could with the whole she-bang. I hope people had a good time after a long day. Pizza, beer, snacks, music, and awards were handed out. The Cups were presented, Tucker retired, and the jerseys for the Daggers and Team Kevin were hung in the stadium. Players of the Week were announced, and Hall of Famers inducted.

And now...

It’s too early to think about, and too fresh in our minds to commit one way or the other to, but we will need more help on the Kommission next year. Help bringing everything to the field, help planning the end of season party, help keeping scores, help referring, and help keeping the field clean. If you had a great time this year, we hope you’ll think about helping to keep the League going. The thankless jobs are the hardest to fill, but the most important to keeping the League functioning and having some sort of order and framework.

Thanks everybody. See you again next year.

And oh yeah, for one more fling, there will be a pick-up game against Northhampton this coming Sunday the 31st, 2pm. Bring yourselves and some refreshments, this is not a League-sponsored game, so no announcers or coolers or anything. If anyone wants the scoreboard, it’s at White Electric.

Providence Kickball Kommission