team win not
Cunning, Baffling, Powerful
[2005 Champs]
6 0
Mississippi Shakedown 5 (+1) 1
St. Sebastian’s Home for the Eldery & Convalescent 4 2 (-1)
Curse of the Zomboree 2 4
UntouchiballicA 2 4
Urban Plantain Workers Party 2 4
Stilettos 0 6
(Parens. indicate Wildcard status)
team win not
Holy Rollers
[2007 Champs]
6 0
Team U.G.G.H. 4 (+1) 2
Scurvy Dogs 5 1 (-1)
Ze French Revenge 2 4
Providence Burnsiders 2 4
BSRmadillos 1 5
Bat Seals 1 5
(Parens. indicate Wildcard status)
Can you feel it, can you smell it?

Who knew Beardsley was a Redneck?

with Slam Dixon & Diaphanous Baum, Reporters and Announcers in the Field

Game 1

UntouchiballicA (3) v Mississippi Shakedown (5)

Once again our Southern kin proved that nothing is louder than a Dixie boy on his way to victory. UntouchiballicA’s on-field 1200 watt Genz Benz was no match for the Shakedown’s Rebel Yell and tougher-than-leather feet. The pre-game jam session was not as tight as the game between these two teams. The teams shook, rattled and rolled to a 3 to 5 finale. It was Damnation versus Deliverance, but by the end the Shakedown had UntouchiballicA squealing like Satan’s pig. Perhaps Untouchiballica was distracted by the news they would be following Brittany Spears in this years VMA awards. In a repeat of last year’s final week, the Shakedown once again upstaged the Untouchiball™ franchise, knocking them out of the play-offs. UntouchiballicA ended this season with second billing at 2 and 4, forced to cancel their Hyperbowl gig (refunds available via TicketMaster). The South would rise again in the Wildcard against PKL’s only AARP® approved team.

Game 2

Providence Burnsiders (6) v Chalkstone Bat Seals (4)

The lean shock-force of today’s modern military stood down this week against a fervent battalion of 19th century soldiers bent on victory in the final regular season battle. And though this game was a forlorn hope for either team making the play-offs, it was a decisive moment in determining who would be the biggest loser this season in the Freedum Division. The Bat Seals bore the standards of their cause loud and proud, their sweaty grace preceding them into the fray. But the Burnsiders deployed wave after wave of enlisted and conscripted directly into the melee. The thunder of a thousand kicks, the barrage of balls, the howls of agony and avail. When the firing had silenced, neither squad would lament: The victorious Burnsiders returned home from their first PKL tour with yet another win, while the Bat Seals commandeered one more day of summer by earning a spot in the Loser’s Cup.

Game 3

Wildcard Game – St. Sebastian (2) v Mississippi Shakedown (5)

(In honor of the Mississippi Shakedown and their victory, we’re reporting this game at the Standard Mississippi State Reading Level)

Please don’t sue us for pornography. It’s “fine art”

Game 4

Wildcard Game – U.G.G.H. (6) v Scurvy Dogs (2)

The wildest of the PKL came to this wildcard game ready to play hard. The seas swelled this Saturday, toiled by Poseidon’s trident and the four winds of the Unstoppable Gods Goddesses and Heroes. Our haughty Dogs weathered the storm through four fruitless innings, only to be swept under in the bitter 5th. The Gardeners turned Gods started the season slow, losing their first two; but as the summer sweltered, UGGH made a Persephonous crawl from the kickball underworld to seed the earth with a season of fertile victory. The barbarians-cum-pirates failed to best their immortal opponents this time around, but still roared into Stan Luchka Port with an amazing 5 and 1 regular season. Despite the lice, surely a ship worthy of sailing on.

Providence Kickball Kommission