team win not
Cunning, Baffling, Powerful
[2005 Champs]		 6 0
Mississippi Shakedown 5 (+1) 1
St. Sebastian’s Home for the Eldery & Convalescent 4 2 (-1)
Curse of the Zomboree 2 4
UntouchiballicA 2 4
Urban Plantain Workers Party 2 4
Stilettos 0 6
(Parens. indicate Wildcard status)
team win not
Holy Rollers
[2007 Champs]		 6 0
Team U.G.G.H. 4 (+1) 2
Scurvy Dogs 5 1 (-1)
Ze French Revenge 2 4
Providence Burnsiders 2 4
BSRmadillos 1 5
Bat Seals 1 5
(Parens. indicate Wildcard status)
Kinda like the PKL’s Famer’s Almanac

The Thurgood Book: a backwood betting-table

with Uncle G.W. Dwayne. Posted 2 days before games. Bets taken up until five minutes before coin toss for Week 5.

Uncle Brother Father Cousin

Yer ole' Uncle Dwayne wishes he could stay and pow wow with lovely lady-lumps today, but I ain't got time fer no deep-seated anal assistin' on this week's games this minute... I got me an AA meeting*1, quick yankee intimidation at 4pm*2, teeth cleanin' at 5*3, then we're gettin tore up and seein' foghat at the chepachet arena*4. So no shootin' skeet today, we's gettin down to business quick.

* (Transcriber’s Note: ( *1: Don't be fooled, one of the A's is either for American or Aryan... this isn't the organization the court had in mind, *2: Probably true, I will be calling the police shortly, *3: I understand this is what "Tater" bought that rubber glove and scrubbing pad from Pet Co. for, *4: I can't confirm this, however they may play a tape with the car doors open and simply drink to unconsciousness.)

Bring the hate on week 8!

Game 1: MISSISSIPPI SHAKEDOWN vs. St. SEBASTIAN's

Thurgood enough fer me!

MISSISSIPPI SHAKEDOWN to win
Over/Under : "a shit-ton" pts
Spread : "a little less than a shit-ton" pts

Game 2: Ze FRENCH REVENGE vs. BSRMADILLOS

French win by default. BSR puts together a rag-tag team and beats the French in actual gamin'. The French cry their berets off but'll still hand over a sculpture they made during the game of J.P. Reader standing proud on MadDog's broken remains, made mos'ly of plaster-uh-paris, sea glass, an' the shame brewed up by a disturbin' daddy-complex. The Komisshen'll say thanks, then toss it in the garbage fer fear of another Trojan Lady Liberty like they done tried before. That femenazi will show up to the game late, but catch me outta the corner'a her eye and think better of it.

Ze FRENCH REVENGE to win
Over/Under : "a handful" pts
Spread : "negative a few" pts

Game 3: The STILETTOS vs. The URBAN PLANTAINS

Stilettos win. We ain't sure how yet, but they been rackin up points all season and actually PLAYIN' the game... Tell me I ain't a little shocked and disappointed 'bout the Cianci Cup water fight we're gettin robbed of.

The STILETTOS to win
Over/Under : "3 times as many cans Katie Moore puts back" pts
Spread : "too many to bet on" pts

Game 4: BAT SEALS vs. U.G.G.H.

U.G.G.H. win it by the end of the toss up. I'd show up to make sure, but Chris Ackley shot a heat seekin' kickball line-drivin' to my manhood last game (and I was in the OUTFIELD). I don't think I'll be able to get it up fer a week if I take any more nut-trauma.

U.G.G.H. to win
Over/Under : "A Chinese Dozen" pts*
Spread : "A Baker's Dozen" pts

* (Transcriber’s Note:He won't say how many "A Chinese Dozen" actually is, but constantly refers to "populatin' control" and foul odors. Jarrett, good luck regulating the bets on ANY of these predictions...)

Send your bets, threats and debts to

Providence Kickball Kommission