team win not
Cunning, Baffling, Powerful
[2005 Champs]		 6 0
Mississippi Shakedown 5 (+1) 1
St. Sebastian’s Home for the Eldery & Convalescent 4 2 (-1)
Curse of the Zomboree 2 4
UntouchiballicA 2 4
Urban Plantain Workers Party 2 4
Stilettos 0 6
(Parens. indicate Wildcard status)
team win not
Holy Rollers
[2007 Champs]		 6 0
Team U.G.G.H. 4 (+1) 2
Scurvy Dogs 5 1 (-1)
Ze French Revenge 2 4
Providence Burnsiders 2 4
BSRmadillos 1 5
Bat Seals 1 5
(Parens. indicate Wildcard status)
The Bailey’s in our coffee, the spring in our stumble…

Teams

Any good Kickball League needs a great set of teams. We have 14 great teams with great themes. Here is a little on their backstories:

MySpace Bat Seals

Team Inception
2008
Other Incarnations
Death Squad (2007), Daggers United (2006), Daggers, Inc (2005)
Overall Performance
Pretty good. Usually 4-2 at the end of the season. Known to fall apart under pressure due to infighting.

BSRmadillos

Team Inception
2003?
Overall Performance
Eh. So far, BSR has been one of the contenders for the loser’s cup. Their performance has improved, but they can be distracted by things involving trolls or 20-sided die.

MySpace Cunning, Baffling, Powerful

Team Inception
2004
Other Incarnations
The John BarleyCorns (2004)
Overall Performance
World Champs 2005. Usually a playoff team.
Theme
Something about recovering alcoholics, junkies, crack heads, and sex-a-holics. Whatever it is, they play to win, even when they lose members to relapse.

MySpace Curse of the Zomboree

Team Inception
2006
Other Incarnations
Return of the Zomboree (2007), Zomboree (2006)
Overall Performance
50/50. Zombies are known to be fierce, but not necessarily coordinated.
Theme
Ummm... they are a bunch of brainthirsty Zombies. Romero-style with a little bit of 28 days later throw in. Prepare to get bloody when you do battle with these undead minions of kickball.

MySpace Holy Rollers

Team Inception
2006
Other Incarnations
Holy Rollers (2007), Penetrator (2006)
Overall Performance
Last year’s PKL Grand Champs. ’Nuff said.
Theme
How can we clean up the image of the sport but also remain filthy, wrong, and a little creepy? Stuart in a Pope outfit.

MySpace Mississippi Shakedown

Team Inception
2007
Overall Performance
This new-last-year team took some people by surprise by actually being good. Almost won their Division.
Theme
The Thurgood fambly enjoys wrasslin’, squattin’, shootin’ skeet, and moonshine aged less than 30 days. Team colors are Red, White and Denim. If you don’t like it you can giiiiit ooouut!

Providence Burnsiders

Team Inception
2007
Other Incarnations
Providence Steamroller (2007)
Overall Performance
50/50. Depends who shows up.
Theme
This Steel-Yard-based 2007 expansion team likes to take obscure historical anecdotes and turn them into a team theme. Last year it was the 1920’s Providence NFL team, the Steamroller. This year it is something about sideburns and President James Buchanan.

MySpace The Scurvy Dogs

Team Inception
2006
Other Incarnations
Green Barbarians (2006-07)
Overall Performance
Not too bad, not too good. They were a contender one year for the Festival of Losers.
Theme
Now that the Green Bar on Westminster Street is no longer the Green Bar, what’s a kickball team to do? Go Pirate!!

MySpace Stilettos

Team Inception
2006
Overall Performance
Awesome... oh, wait, you mean at kickball? Bad, but who cares??
Theme
Fishnets, short shorts, kiddie pools, deep bends, wet t-shirts, sexual innuendo and getting the attention of the Providence Fire Department.

St Sebastian’s Home for the Eldery & Convalescent

Team Inception
2003ish
Other Incarnations
Kings of Kickball (2007), Alan Shawn Feinstein Jr. Kickball Scholars (2006), Trauma Center (2005), Hellrazors? (2004)
Overall Performance
Pretty damn good.
Theme
Constantly mixing it up by changing their theme every year, this time, the all seem to be old. It remains to be seen how this is all gonna play out.

MySpace UntouchaballicA

Team Inception
2006
Other Incarnations
East Side Blue Bloods (2007), Fabulous Untouchiballs (2006)
Overall Performance
Pretty good. Finishes close to the top.
Theme
Some Blue Blood yacht got trapped in the great white North and ended up in Norway, or Iceland or something, where metal rules. Somehow, they have British accents? Fear the stench of their leather pants and the beefy Security guards.

Urban Plantain Worker’s Party

Team Inception
2008 (NEW !)
Theme
Their manifesto sort of rambles, but we basically get the gist: 60’s era Cuban Socialism. Wethinks this is due to the influence of Cuban Revolution at their digs on Valley Street at the Plant(ain).

Team U.G.G.H.

Team Inception
2003
Other Incarnations
Guerilla Gardeners (2003-07)
Overall Performance
World Champs 2003. Great fun to play. Always laid back, always good. Many Hall of Fame members are Gardeners.
Theme
After so many years as the Guerilla Gardeners, the team changed their name to U.G.G.H. (Underground Gods, Goddesses and Heros). The result is a much more costmed team than previous years.

MySpace Ze French Revenge

Team Inception
2008 (NEW !)
Overall Performance
Untested in a full season, but if the first game is any indication, they are out for dominance.
Theme
Keep your damn Freedom Fries and Toast. We didn’t invent them anyway! But we did invent kickball, something you Americans know nothing about, and with the revived corpse of Napolean, we will make sure that you respect the French! Oh, and thanks for Normandy

 

And for anyone who cares...

Here are some team lineages... The PKL has a great history of teams that keep coming back for more, and many teams have also come and gone. The horizontal line denotes a lineage. Italics denote a shaky lineage, in that membership and leadership may have changed dramatically except for a few key players.

2002 2003 2004 2005 2006 2007 2008
Rockballs Unaballers Body Snatchers Trauma Center ASF Jr. KS Kings of Kickball St. Sebastian
Above teams were organized by Jason Pontius
Hellrazors Hellrazors II Hellrazors III Organized by Carrie Cannon
Juggernauts* Corleone Sparrows
Big Hurt Freedom Hurt Organized by Jed Arkley
Foghorn Unicorn
0.5 (all half Asians)
AS220 Badgers
Decatur Defenders Decatur Decapitators
Bike Panthers
Team Yeti
Guerilla Gardeners Team U.G.G.H.
John Barleycorns Cunning, Baffling, Powerful
Kevin
Productivists* Road Warriors
Real Yankees Word Nerds Penetrator Holy Rollers
Sharks vs. Jets
BSRmadillos
Daggers United Death Squad Bat Seals
Green Barbarians Scurvy Dog
Fabulous Untouchiballs East Side Blue Bloods UntouchiballicA
Presto, Bitch! the Highlanders
Stilettos
Zomboree Return of the Zomboree Curse of the Zomboree
Mississippi Shakedown
Providence Steamroller Providence Burnsiders
Urban Plantains
Ze French Revenge
* Denotes teams banned forever for forfeiting too many games

 

Teams in History

2002 - Rock Balls: The uniform was a gray t-shirt with “Rock Balls” in blue lettering.

2003 - Uniballers: Orange prison jumpsuits spoofing the unibomber.

2004 - Body Snatchers: The team would dress in the uniform of their opponents, making life difficult for the umps. At the end of their games, they would attack and “body snatch” a member of the opposing team, making them one of their own.

2005 - Trauma Center: Nurse/EMT scrubs for the uniform, with the exception of Kate who was the “Naughty Nurse” and during the first game, gave birth to a kickball. We believe that this incarnation lost the championship game to CBP in their undefeated season.

2006 - Alan Shawn Feinstein Jr. Kickball Scholars: The uniforms were forgotten orphan clothes with an iron on version of the Feinstein billboards. This was an undefeated season with a win over The Untouchiballs in the championship. It was also the last year for the only remaining “Rock Ball” member, Jason Pontius.

2007 - Kings of Kickball: Uniforms were interpretations of kings (Burger King, Elvis, traditional kings, etc)

2008 - St. Sebastian’s Home for the Elderly and Convalescent: Simple enough... they dressed like old people, complete with walkers and those huge sunglasses.

Anyone remember more? Help us collect some history about the best Kickball League on Earth!

Providence Kickball Kommission